Professional Coaching

Recovery From Miscarriage

This blog has been in my heart for years and I’ve been procrastinating it because its painful. However, I know it needs to be shared. I’m writing now because I have a strong feeling there are people, women and men, who need to hear it. My prayer is that it will bring hope to one person.

On our wedding, August 19, 2000, our justice of the peace asked in a whisper if we planned on children, Hal and I both nodded yes and she instantly projected her voice to shared a blessing of procreation.

Two years later, December 7, 2002, we experienced a miscarriage, May 8, 2003 a second miscarriage, April 9, 2004 (Good Friday) our third miscarriage. People said its common. Our general practitioner sent us to a specialist. There must be an explanation, a ‘fix’, a something that they can do.

Test after test and another two miscarriages while in the care of the specialist. The specialist did discover things about me but nothing as to why my body was miscarrying our children. There wasn’t an explanation, a ‘fix’, a something that they could do. He literally threw up his hands and said he was so sorry for us.

Our hearts were broken. We didn’t know how to cope. We didn’t know where to go for help. I drank vodka to drown my sorrow, my feelings of unworthiness, and all of those lost dreams. I felt like a failure. Between the fourth and fifth miscarriage my drinking escalated and become unmanageable. All of this was tearing my husband I apart. I could not go on and my husband would not go on watching me kill myself with alcohol. The ultimatum was set down, he reached an emotional bottom, the five miscarriages brought me to my knees and to my last alcoholic bottom.

I found help. It was November 11, 2007, I quit drinking, got sober and started to heal my sorrow and grief. December 3, 2008 we had our sixth miscarriage, I did not use alcohol to cope, to drown my sorrow. I found a solution. Twelve years later, as I live in long term recovery, I have six small holes within me and I’ve grown strength around each of them. My eyes fill with tears and my throat constricts as I write. Its painful, but where there is sorrow there is joy. I have joy today.

If you are struggling or someone you know is struggling with miscarriage and alcohol, you are not alone. There is help. Please reach out, I would be so happy to share my personal coaching journey from sorrow to joy.

CHECK-IN WITH MY HEART - Daily Practice

Over the last 12 years, I’ve learned that I must have a daily practice to check-in with my heart, do a self-examination, and work on my spiritual growth. All of us could benefit from this. No one is exempt from the possibility of going back to old ways.

We need to look at four areas of our lives on a regular basis.

  • Check-in with your body. Ask yourself, “What is my body telling me?” Your body is a barometer of what’s happening inside of you. For example, if you have tense muscles, you probably have some stress. If you’re tired, hungry, or stressed out, those can be clues that your life has gotten out of whack and you may be headed for problems.

  • Check-in with your emotions. Make sure you’re allowing your real feelings to surface instead of pushing them down. If you try to put a cap on your emotions, the pressure will build up and you’re bound to explode. Check in using your heart by asking yourself the following questions:
    H: Am I hurting?
    E: Am I exhausted?
    A: Am I angry?

    R: Do I resent anybody?
    T: Am I tense?

  • Check-in on your relationships. Ask yourself if you’re at peace with the people in your life (current and past relationships). You may be re-living a hurt from years ago that will eventually torpedo your new way of living and thinking (recovery).

  • Check-in on your spiritual life. Are you relying on God on a moment-by-moment basis? Remember, the quickest route to a fall is to begin thinking you can handle things on your own.

Go through this process frequently. This could be a new daily practice for you.

At any time of the day, when you begin to feel the pressures build up, go through the four areas above and see if anything stands out. Then, at the end of the day, build into your life a time to acknowledge your failures and celebrate your successes. And then look more deeply and mindfully at your daily life to make sure everything is in order. If not, time to become rigorously honest with yourself and get to work. That is, if you want to think and life a different way.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live in peace and serenity by living by a practice?

A practice to dig deep and get honest with yourself. I encourage those who do not have a daily practice, to create one and follow it during this spring season. Those that do have a daily practice, I challenge yourself to dig deeper to bring about more change and transformation.

Professional Coaches Exposed

This week I gathered with my tribe of professional coaches to discuss a bouquet of topics.  One of the topics was to educate and expose the public to professional coaching and as a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) that's one of my responsibilities and acts of service.

The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines professional coaching as:

"partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential."

The best way to experience coaching (if you haven't already) is to have a session.  I'd be thrilled and honored to introduce you to and expose you to how professional coaching sounds, feels, and looks like.  Let's connect!