A Horror Story

Living in addiction was A Horror Story!

The darkness, isolation, hiding, sneaking, and constant fear.  Constant trembling skeleton, shaking sweaty hands, heart fluttering, jumpiness and profuse entire body sweats. Days of living in this state until I could drink again, to escape the horrors of my life.  The traumas, problems and situations I knew no other way to deal with or handle.  The issues that were too big I didn't know any other way to cope, so I hid in bottle after bottle of alcohol.

I lied for alcohol.  I hid alcohol.  I justified alcohol.  I made excuse after excuse for alcohol.  I down played my relationship with alcohol.  I wore so many masks to keep my secret of alcohol.....scary images of my life flashed before my eyes.  My relationship with alcohol was digging my grave and death was creeping closer and closer.

I escaped the alcoholic death! 

I learned how to deal with the traumas, problems, and situations using recovery tools.

Today in recovery, I live an Adventure Story, a Comedy Story and a Love Story!

How badly do you want to change your Story?

Please join me in my FREE Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulrecoverycommunity/

 

What Are My Options?

Since the beginning of my coaching career, I've been educating the public about what services a Recovery Life Coach provides.  I've blogged here the role of a Recovery Life Coach.  Also written about the differences that a Recovery Life Coach provides vs. a 12 Step Sponsor.

This article is amazing and presents a clear description of the differences of a Peer Recovery Support Specialist, Addiction Counselor, and a Professional Recovery Coach.

Its my hope that you find this article helpful to you and those you love.

 

Thousands of $$$ Spent on Booze....Addiction is Expensive

While walking my sweet dog Ollie today, a memory of an exercise I did during the first weeks of sobriety came flooding in.  It was such a strong memory, I could feel cigarette smoke in my throat.

From November 11 to November 26, 2007 I spent my days at a government day treatment program.  Here I learned about addiction.  They asked our group to write down the amount of liquor drank on a daily basis and calculate the monthly amount of money spent. 

I was so shocked to learn I spend over $1,000.00 a month in secret!

This $1,000 did not include when my husband and I went out for dinners, to friends parties, had people in to our home, Saturday afternoon cocktails at the neighbors and in our local pubs.

Frequently I speak with people who are wishing to make changes in their lives and to create a new lifestyle for themselves and they're families.  Some see the value in getting sober and creating a new lifestyle and some don't.  I was willing to spend whatever it would take to get sober and stay sober!

What value do you put on your transformation from addiction to recovery?

Is today the day you decide you're worth saving?

My First 12 Step Visit and the Hugs

Lately, I've been thinking about the very first time I walked into a meeting of a 12 Step group.  I was greeted outside by a woman who had met with my husband and I previously.  She walked up to me with a huge smile and arms wide open and asked "can I hug you?",  I quickly said sure.  This was the first of many hugs.  I didn't expect that and honesty wasn't sure how to take it, but I went with it and walked up the stairs into an all ladies meeting.  The butterflies where wild in me and I was shocked at what I saw.  All kinds of women, laughing, smiling, chatting, making coffee, organizing books and binders and chit chatting away.  They were so foreign to me, is this what 12 Step looked like?  Is this what alcoholic women sounded like, happy, joyous, alive, free and beautiful?  Safety comes to mind.  I felt safe in a very strange way.  I felt like I oddly fit in.  Geeze, I didn't want to belong here, but every instinct within me screamed I did! 

Quickly the buzzing, chatting women sat down, more came in and the woman at the head of the room, with all the books and binders in front of her, spoke.  My sweet new friend, touched me and said "the meeting is starting".  I was excited and fearful all at the same time.

Women began sharing and talking about their relationship with alcohol.  What it was like, what happened and how they came to a 12 Step Group and what their lives where like in sobriety.  I have no idea exactly what they said, but I do remember how I felt, safe.  I felt love.  I felt hope.  I felt relief.  I felt apart of.  I felt here was my answer to my drinking.

The close of the meeting was announced and we all stood, took hands and shared in the Serenity prayer.  My sweet new friend hugged me again and said "keep coming back".  More women came up to me and hugged and welcomed me. I was so overwhelmed by love.  I left with a new book and a two page list of women's names and phone numbers I could call at any time.  Their love, honesty and hope shocked me.  I wanted what they had, so I kept going, in spite of myself.  In spite of my ego and fear, I kept going.

Are you willing, in spite of yourself, to have your first 12 Step visit?

Our Beliefs... Our Perceptions...

A belief is a choice we make in our mind about how we choose to see the world. We create an idea of how we choose to interact in the world based on this belief we believe as the truth.

Our beliefs are established from our perceptions of life.

Our life experience and knowledge determine why we see things a certain way, however, this may not be the reality. Perception is not Reality.

Intentions vs. Goals - Soul vs. The Mind

With the beginning of a new year, clients have been sharing their thoughts about setting goals. It appears that most of us fear putting our goals on paper in fear we won't achieve them. The fear of failure wins every time. Goals don't get put on paper and we stay stuck.

I've done some research on goals, goal setting and written goals and found some interesting information.

Gratitude... How to Start

We sometimes have a hard time starting a ritual for being grateful. Here is a great 'How to' on creating a Grateful Ritual!

So that's what I want to reflect on today – some quick reminders about the things you, too, likely forget to say "thank you" for:

"Thank you for life's surprises." – Notice and cherish life's surprises.  Just because it's not what you were expecting, doesn't mean it's not everything you've been waiting for. 

Time... How do you spend your time?

Time, it's always a topic of conversation. Not enough of it, juggling it, stretching it, trying to create more of it.

Over the last weeks, I've learned the precious gift of Time. How I use to think I had so much of it. How I'd spend it and with whom? I never ever questioned that I wouldn't have enough or it would run out. How do I manage Time? What's important to me or a priority?

Have you ever asked yourself if you respect your Time and the Time of others?