Sobriety: The First Step on the Warrioress Path of Individuation

Sobriety isn’t just about quitting alcohol.

It’s about saying yes to a deeper, more meaningful life.

It’s about turning toward your fear—gently, bravely—and whispering, I’m here. I’m not leaving myself anymore.

Sobriety is sacred. It’s not punishment. It’s reclamation.

It’s the first step in a much bigger journey—what Carl Jung called individuation—the lifelong process of becoming your truest self.

When we choose sobriety, we open the door to the six stages of individuation:

1. Building Safety & Trust (Foundations for Growth)

Why: Without safety, the nervous system stays in survival mode, blocking deeper growth.

What it looks like: Learning self-regulation, finding safe people and spaces, and building a relationship with your own inner protector.

Practices: Grounding exercises, trauma healing, consistent supportive relationships, body-based awareness.

2. Claiming Autonomy & Power (Separating from External Control)

Why: Individuation requires distinguishing your voice from family, culture, or authority’s voice.

What it looks like: Saying “no” without guilt, making choices based on inner truth, releasing people-pleasing.

Practices: Boundaries, values clarification, journaling your truth, standing firm in decisions.

3. Finding Belonging & Identity (Authentic Connection)

Why: True belonging comes when you no longer betray yourself to be accepted.

What it looks like: Cultivating relationships where you are loved as you are; embracing your heritage, gifts, and unique quirks.

Practices: Joining communities aligned with your truth, healing sisterhood/brotherhood wounds, creative self-expression.

4. Embracing Sexuality & Freedom (Integrating Life Force Energy)

Why: Sexuality isn’t just about sex — it’s your aliveness, creativity, and passion for life.

What it looks like: Releasing shame, owning your desires, and feeling free to express your energy in ways that feel safe and authentic.

Practices: Movement, sensual self-connection, releasing old conditioning around desire and pleasure.

5. Experiencing Love & Intimacy (Heart Integration)

Why: The ultimate goal of individuation is living from the heart while remaining sovereign.

What it looks like: Loving deeply without losing yourself; allowing intimacy to expand your wholeness rather than erode it.

Practices: Vulnerability work, conscious relationships, forgiveness (without bypassing truth).

6. Integrating All Parts of Self (Wholeness)

Why: Individuation is not becoming someone else, but bringing all your parts into harmony — the light and the shadow.

What it looks like: Meeting your shadow parts without shame, embodying both your strength and tenderness, living in alignment with your soul.

Practices: Shadow work, dream work, parts work, creative ritual, spiritual practice.

The Ongoing Cycle

Individuation isn’t linear. You’ll revisit these stages many times as new layers arise. Each cycle brings you into deeper authenticity, freedom, and inner authority.

Sobriety is about becoming whole.

And when you choose to stay present with yourself,

To feel instead of flee,

To soften instead of numb,

To serve instead of self-abandon…

That’s power. That’s love. That’s freedom.

You are becoming.

And it takes a Warrioress’ heart to walk this way.

If this speaks to you, I invite you to join my mailing list sign up here—where I share heart-centered reflections, offerings, and gentle reminders that you don’t have to walk this path alone.

The Birthplace of Sisterhood Wounds: When Mean Girls Are Just Little Girls in Pain

"She Used to Love School—Not This Year"

The quiet beginnings of sisterhood wounds and how we fail our girls when we don't intervene.

She’s only ten.

Bright, sensitive, full of creative sparkle—and lately, heartbreak.

My great-niece has been coming home from school feeling like she doesn't belong. Once a place of friendship and fun, her classroom has become a quiet battleground of whispers, exclusion, and cruel side glances. She's learning—far too young—that other girls can turn cold, that safety in community can suddenly slip through your fingers, and that silence from adults can sometimes hurt just as much.

This is the beginning of sisterhood wounding.

We often talk about the “mean girl” dynamic as something that emerges in the teen years, but it starts much earlier. Before there’s language for it. Before there’s understanding. And far too often, before there’s any meaningful support.

But how do the “mean girls” become mean?

Why do they turn on each other?

Where does this need to isolate, control, and intimidate come from?

These questions haunt me—not just as someone who loves this little girl, but as a woman who remembers her own early wounds. As someone who has spent years guiding women through the tender process of repairing these very same fractures decades later.

In most cases, these young girls aren’t inherently unkind. They’re afraid.

They’re absorbing unspoken lessons from the world around them:

That power comes from dominance, not connection.

That closeness is dangerous when it can be turned on you.

That being accepted means playing the game—even if it means hurting someone else.

These are not just personal wounds—they’re cultural ones. Systemic ones. The kind that get passed down like invisible inheritance, showing up in schoolyards, sleepovers, boardrooms, and women’s circles.

And when adults don’t name it—when teachers don’t intervene, when school systems prioritize academic performance over emotional wellbeing—these wounds deepen. Silence becomes complicity. The girl who is excluded begins to believe she’s not worthy. And the girls who isolate her often don't even understand the damage they’re causing.

This blog post is for my great-niece—and for every woman who still carries that ten-year-old version of herself inside. The one who learned it wasn’t safe to trust other girls. The one who shrank, or hardened, or stayed quiet to survive.

Because if we want to heal sisterhood, we must start here.

We must look at how it begins.

We must talk about what we're teaching girls—consciously or not—about belonging, empathy, and power.

And we must create spaces where the next generation can learn a new way.

Let’s Not Look Away

If you’re a woman reading this, I invite you to pause and remember:

Where were you when you first learned that other girls could turn on you?

When did you begin to hide parts of yourself to stay included, stay safe, stay quiet?

This isn’t just about schoolyards. It’s about a cultural pattern of disconnection that runs deep in our collective story as women. And it often starts early, long before we have the words to name it.

So let’s name it now.

Let’s stop brushing off “mean girl” behavior as a phase.

Let’s stop assuming our daughters, nieces, and students are fine just because they’re not crying.

Let’s stop pretending that staying silent keeps the peace.

Instead, let’s be the generation that sees it.

That speaks up. That interrupts it. That models something different.

Because every time we choose compassion over competition, courage over silence, and connection over isolation—we’re not just healing ourselves.

We’re changing the story for the girls coming after us.

She used to love school.

Let’s make sure the next girl still can.

When Sobriety Doesn’t Feel Safe: Why Some Women Are Leaving 12-Step Communities

Sobriety is sacred. For many of us, choosing to live alcohol-free is one of the most courageous, life-giving decisions we’ll ever make. But what happens when the very spaces that promise healing, safety, and sisterhood begin to mirror the same dynamics that drove us to numb out in the first place?

More and more women I speak with are quietly leaving 12-step spaces—not because they don’t value the principles, the traditions, or the structure—but because they no longer feel safe or seen within them.

The Pain of Not Belonging in a Place That Promises Belonging

It’s a heartbreak few talk about: showing up to a recovery space week after week, only to feel invisible. You try to share, to connect, to offer your presence—but you're met with silence, side-eyes, or subtle exclusion. You're not asked to coffee. You're not included in the “after-meeting” chats or text threads. You begin to notice the cliques—the unspoken hierarchies, the favoritism, the quiet policing of how “sober” or “program” enough you are.

This isn’t just uncomfortable. It’s retraumatizing. Especially for women carrying sisterhood wounds or histories of bullying, abandonment, or being “othered.”

Some describe the feeling as being spiritually lynched—ostracized in a space that preaches radical acceptance and love.

When Safety Becomes Performative

Recovery spaces are meant to be sanctuaries—brave containers where you can show up messy, raw, in-process. But for some women, the rules of “safety” are not applied equally. Instead of curiosity, there is judgment. Instead of inclusion, there is control. The group becomes more about conformity than connection.

And here’s the thing: when a space that claims to be healing becomes a space of harm, your body knows. Your nervous system knows. You start to dread going. You leave meetings feeling worse. And eventually, you leave altogether.

Not All 12-Step Spaces Are the Same

It’s important to say this: not every 12-step room feels this way. There are beautiful, inclusive meetings that offer deep, life-changing support. Some of us have been lucky enough to find those rooms—or to create them.

But when you haven't, or when you once did and things shifted, it can be profoundly disorienting and painful. Your decision to step away doesn't mean you're not committed to your sobriety—it means you're listening to what your body, your heart, and your spirit need now.

Leaving Doesn’t Mean You’ve Failed—It Might Mean You’re Healing

If you’ve walked away from 12-step spaces because you felt unseen, unwelcome, or unsafe—know this: you are not alone. And you are not a failure.

You are responding to a deeper wisdom. You are honoring your nervous system. You are refusing to stay in spaces that replicate harm, even if they’re wrapped in the language of recovery.

There are other paths. Other women. Other ways of living sober that are grounded in love, embodiment, and true belonging.

What We Long For

We long for spaces that center lived experience, not hierarchy.

Spaces where safety is felt, not forced.

Where your story matters. Your voice matters. Your body matters.

We long for sober spaces that celebrate nuance, autonomy, and diversity of thought—not just dogma or doctrine.

We long for spaces where sisterhood feels nourishing, not threatening.

And for many of us, that means building new communities. Trauma-informed, heart-led spaces where we can unlearn the patterns of invisibility, silence, and shame—and come home to ourselves and each other.

✨ If this speaks to you, I invite you to join my mailing list.

I share somatic tools, loving insights, and community invitations for women walking a soulful sober path—without shame, without perfection, and without pretending.

💌 Join here to receive support that honors your body, your healing, and your truth.

Boxing with the Bottle

In the ring of dusk and dawn I stand,

Gloves laced tight by trembling hand.

Across from me, that shadowed shape—

The bottle’s ghost, with no escape.

It grins with teeth of amber glass,

A sly old friend from darker past.

We’ve danced before, it knows my swing,

My weakest rib, my broken wing.

The bell rings out, a hollow chime,

A call to war, to end old time.

It jabs with whispers, slick and mean,

“Just one more round…you know the scene.”

But I’ve been training, breath and bone,

With truth, and tears, and nights alone.

My body knows another beat,

One born of fire, not defeat.

I duck the shame, I dodge the lie,

Each punch I throw, a battle cry.

Not for perfection, not for fame—

But just to rise and name my name.

Blood and sweat, the ring is red,

With all the things I never said.

But still I fight, and still I stand,

With fire burning in my hands.

And when the final bell does sound,

I won’t be crawling on the ground.

I’ll lift my chin, my heart, my flame—

And walk out stronger than I came.

The ghost still lingers, calls my name,

But I’ve unlearned the rules of shame.

Not with fury, not with pain—

But power pulsing through my veins.

I choose my breath. I choose the light.

I won this round. I own this fight.

I Am a Mistress of My Emotions

Dear Beautiful Soul,

I wanted to share something close to my heart today—a soft invocation for any moment when you're feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or simply tender.

Let this be a reminder of your power, your rhythm, your grace.

________________________________________

I Am a Mistress of My Emotions

When sorrow drapes itself across my heart,

I hum a melody that soothes my soul.

When grief whispers through the quiet,

I invite joy to dance lightly in its place.

When my body aches with heaviness,

I move with grace, honoring each breath.

When fear stands in my path,

I take her hand and walk forward as her sister.

When I feel less than enough,

I adorn myself in the beauty of my becoming.

When uncertainty tightens my throat,

I speak with the voice of the woman I am becoming.

When scarcity shadows my thoughts,

I dream of the harvest already on its way.

When doubt clouds my mind,

I remember every time I rose from the dust.

When I feel unseen or small,

I turn my face toward the vision that called me here.

I do not silence my emotions. I listen.

I do not fight them. I flow.

I do not fear them. I lead.

They rise in me—and we dance in rhythm, but I choose the steps.

I walk in beauty. I walk in knowing. I walk in grace.

________________________________________

With love,

Nicole

Sober Alchemy: A Sacred Path to Healing Our Relationship with Alcohol

Embodiment work offers a profound, loving, and holistic way to transform our relationship with alcohol—by returning us to the deep, innate wisdom of the body.

At its heart, this is a journey of coming home to yourself. Of reclaiming your body as sacred. Of learning to listen deeply to the messages she has always held for you.

Alcohol often becomes a way to cope—to numb pain, soften stress, or soothe unspoken wounds. But through the Ishtara meditative movement method, we’re invited into something different. Instead of avoiding discomfort, we learn to meet it with curiosity, compassion, and gentle presence.

By anchoring into your body, you begin to access a wellspring of intuitive knowing—guidance that reveals the "why" beneath your habits. This is not a path of shame or judgment. It’s a loving return to self—one that honors your story, your body, and your truth.

Through Ishtara’s unique meditative movement method, we create space to reconnect with the sensations, emotions, and energies long held within. These are the very places alcohol may have once masked. And now, with tenderness, they begin to unwind.

This process allows you to release, rewire, and complete old patterns of pain, tension, stress and disconnection. It’s about honoring your body’s rhythm—inviting more flow, freedom, and inner balance, instead of reaching outward for relief.

As you deepen this relationship with your body, something beautiful begins to emerge: a quiet sense of love, grace, and power. The kind of nourishment that dissolves the need for external soothing—because you’ve learned how to hold yourself with sacred care.

This journey isn’t about restriction or rigidity. It’s about liberation.

A gentle return to sovereignty.

A soft awakening to the joy and wholeness that’s been waiting within you all along.

Learn more in a Free Introduction Class - Sign Up Here

Podcast Series ` Uncover, Recover and Roar

PODCASTS Quick links - 

Holistic Coach Legacy ~ https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ZczYkuFuSNb

Bev and Nicole discuss: 

Nicole's backstory around coaching and healing the body 

What is Ishtara? Benefits to healing through Ishtara, even if you've already done a lot of healing in the past.

Key Takeaways and Actions: 

Check in on your body What does your body need? 

Reach out to Nicole to learn about the next available Introduction to Ishtara class.

Bubble Hour ~ https://jeanmccarthy.ca/2021/04/26/the-bubble-hour-s9e16-nicole-cameron/

"Nicole has overcome great losses and built a life full of joy, but it was not an easy path to arrive where she is today. Grief was all too present in her life, even as a child. Nicole was just 11 when her mother died unexpectedly. Then, as newlyweds, Nicole and her husband suffered multiple pregnancy losses. Though she didn’t necessarily see alcohol use as a coping strategy, her dysfunctional drinking patterns escalated throughout her teen years and into adulthood as life became more and more complicated."

"Nicole is now 13 years sober and her passion is to help others develop the skills to change the direction of their lives. She says, “My mission is simple. I help successful people create change. Change in their stories, change in narrative, and change in their relationship with themselves, others and substance, by providing solutions in healing their worth, practicing self compassion, living into core values, identifying character strengths and creating healthy and positive thought life.” "

I have a profound dedication to the work of self liberation. And I don’t just mean healing from past pain. I mean embracing authorship and authority over your life. I mean unleashing your heart in ways you didn’t think possible before.  

I'm deeply passionate about guiding individuals on transformative journeys towards self-discovery and empowerment. My approach, which delicately weaves together life coaching, embodiment teaching, extends a warm embrace and holistic support system to those yearning for profound personal growth.

I hold a special focus on gently reshaping perceptions, narratives, and relationship with yourself, understanding the tender importance of inner work and subtle shifts in mindset to foster enduring change. By tenderly guiding individuals to unlock their authentic selves and release limiting patterns, I empower them to step into their full potential and lovingly sculpt the lives they truly desire.

I offer a few different options, let's connect for a free discovery call to see if we are a fit.  If we've worked together, let's reconnect.

Here's what's happening ~

~Private 1:1 Women Centered Coaching.

~Laser focused coaching sessions and expect deep dives getting to the root for lasting change.

~AWAKEN | The Journey has launched. I'm offering early bird registration now, but don't wait, limited spots.

~FREE Introduction to Ishtara Wednesday November 6 at 4pm MST 

Register Here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=27657528&appointmentType=69091464

~Ishtara Body Alchemy Course on Saturday November 23 still has a few spots open.  

Register Here ~ https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=27657528&appointmentType=67227120

Let's connect!  I'd love to engage with you!

Meet the Dark | Rise to the Light | Roar - NEW OFFERING COMING SOON

My own meeting of the dark, rising to the light and roaring!

This past month, I encountered so many memories from my childhood and young adulthood. They gently revealed the choices I made, how I arrived at them, and the paths they led me down. Some of those memories were heavy and shadowed, I moved in meditation daily and was able to rise to the light. Today, I step boldly into a new month, with a heart overflowing from deep forgiveness and an abundance of love that pours out around me.

Grateful for my beautiful community, my circle where we can share, shed, and move together in the highest safety. It’s a blessing to be held with such love and reverence.

---

I’m super excited to share that I’ve created a New Offering. Soon I’ll announce all the details, you’ll just have to be patient a little longer.

Okay, okay …. here’s a little bit of what’s coming.

Awaken your soul mind body, igniting the creative fire within your body and life.

Deepen the connection to your intuition and the wisdom of your body’s natural rhythms.

Redefine your personal experience of success, wealth, and power on your own terms.

Break free from self-sabotage and embrace the path to your deepest desires, even if you already see yourself as a self-growth Queen.

Transition from burnout and exhaustion to living a thriving, sensual, and embodied life.

Navigate and embrace your emotions with grace, even when faced with challenges and triggers.

Manifest through the power of your body, accelerating your journey to create a life that fully lights you up from within.

Live from embodied values and strengths as one system, your mind body!

Much love,

Nicole xo