We’ve all experienced it: the person who says “Yes, I’ll be there” — and then never shows up. The client who books a call and disappears without notice. The friend who makes promises they never follow through on. These moments sting, not only because they inconvenience us, but because they erode trust.
For me, this isn’t just about disappointment or irritation. It’s about standards. I live by mine. They aren’t arbitrary rules, they are expressions of respect and love — for myself, for others, and for the work I devote my life to.
When I make an agreement, I hold it. When I say I’ll be somewhere, I show up. When I enter into a relationship — whether with a client or a student — I am clear about expectations. That clarity creates safety, and that safety creates room for growth, transformation, and trust.
So when people flake, ghost, or break their word, it hits differently. It’s not just a missed appointment. It’s a rupture of integrity.
Why Standards Matter
Some might see “standards” as rigid or demanding, but I see them as love in action.
My standards are a promise:
That I will treat you with honesty and respect.
That I will show up prepared, present, and committed.
That you can count on me to do what I say I will do.
In return, I ask for the same. Not perfection, but accountability. Not rigid obedience, but respect. Because mutual standards make healthy relationships possible — whether in business, friendship, or community.
The Cost of Ghosting
When someone ghosts, it leaves a ripple effect. A no-show in a coaching session doesn’t just waste time; it blocks energy that could have gone toward someone ready and willing to receive support. A broken promise in a circle of women doesn’t just inconvenience me; it fractures the sense of trust and safety that allows the group to go deep together.
Every “yes” that isn’t followed through weakens the currency of agreement. And in the spaces I hold, agreements are sacred.
Choosing to Align
I know not everyone lives this way. Some people move through the world casually, loosely, without much thought to the impact their choices have on others. And that’s their path. But it is not mine.
I choose to align myself with people who value their word. I choose to surround myself with those who understand that commitment is not a burden, but a gift. I choose to invest in relationships — personal and professional — that honor mutual respect.
Because when we hold each other with that level of care, magic happens. Transformation unfolds. Trust deepens. And we all get to feel safer, stronger, and more alive.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’ve ever been the one who ghosts or flakes — maybe without meaning to — this isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. The invitation is to notice the impact of your choices, and to consider what it would feel like to hold yourself to a higher standard. To become someone others can truly count on.
And if you’re someone, like me, who holds strong standards: keep going. You’re not “too much.” You’re modeling integrity in a world that desperately needs it.
Your standards matter. They protect your time, your energy, your relationships, and your work. And when you honor them, you call in others who will honor them, too.
